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United Kingdom, London, English, German, Male, 16-20, Music, Football, Student.

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I Am...

I am Rob. I will be your blogger for however long I continue to post here. I am male. I am 20. I am a second-year Law student at King's College London. I currently live on the outskirts of West Hampstead in London, but true home is my parent's house in Melksham. For those of you who have no idea where Melksham is, here is a map. Don't worry, nobody ever knows where Melksham is.

Back to me. I am your fairly archetypal student, living in a house with some mates from uni and drinking far too much for my own (and my liver's) good health. But, I only drink to excess, no further. I enjoy socialising, which generally involves copious amounts of alcohol, but I also thoroughly enjoy my own company. I'm quite happy being on my own in my room, or exploring bits of London by myself. Gives me time to think and just switch off from the world, which can be very helpful with the fairly hectic lifestyle that I find myself being involved in 99% of the time.

I have no idea what I'll be doing after university, in fact I'm fairly sure that I don't want to be involved in doing law as a career. I've always had more than a passing interest in journalism, so I might get involved with that, but who knows what the future holds? I'll just keep on going as I am, and something will catch my fancy. At least, that's what I'm planning on.

Physically, I'm 6 foot tall, average-to-slim build, and neither particularly attractive nor unattractive. I have sticky-out ears, which isn't good, but I've got really bright blue eyes (good). I've been told that around the eyes I look a lot like James Van Der Beek (Dawson), and I can see the resemblance myself, but when the rest of me is added it gets lost. I have the world's worst hairline, a cow's lick on the front, and a sticky-up bit at the back, which means my hair is usually kept short and gelled. Not good for running your hands through (which I love doing) but at least it looks OK. Whenever I put wax on my hair, which keeps it in place, but allows for movement, I find myself touching my hair constantly, just pleased that I can run my hands through it. Sad, when I think about it. I also constantly experiment with facial hair, be it growing a full beard, or just a goatee.


I Am Like...

What next? Ahh yes, an in-depth psychological profile. I'm self-centred (sort of), arrogant (maybe), intelligent (exam results to prove it), friendly (i have friends, at least), a leader, possibly too confident for my own good, fairly spontaneous yet fairly organised, somewhat conscientious, sometimes offensive, sometimes offended, optimistic, loud (especially when i've had a couple of beverages), flirty (again after a few drinks) and almost completely politically neutral. Hmmm, strange list.

Going through bit-by-bit, I know for a fact that I'm self centred, and a couple of tests on the web have told me so. I don't necessarily feel that self-centred is a fair description, more self-interested. I have to say that I really do believe that I would put another's happiness before my own, especially if they were a close friend, and I also believe that I would sacrifice my own life to save another's. Guilt is something I really cannot cope with. But who can say with any conviction what they would do in that situation until they are faced with one?

Arrogant is something I've been called for as long as I can remember, generally by my closest friends as a term of endearment (I hope). I think it's something to do with my intelligence, because I've always been very confident due to being the cleverest person in my year at school for 13 years. No, really, I was! Sometimes that confidence can come across as arrogance, so I understand where that would have come from. Sometimes it probably even strays into being actual arrogance... I also love to be a leader in a group, making the decisions and things like that. Power tripping already.

I'm a friendly person, and I make friends quite easily. Saying that, I prefer to have a close core of about 5-10 people who I am around all the time, as well as a larger circle of friends that I get on with. Maybe that hasn't quite happened since I've come to university, but I'm very pleased with the number of friends that I have made, even if they're not as close (yet) as the group of friends who I left behind in Melksham. I still hear and speak to all of them a lot, but we've all changed (for better, for worse?) in the 18 months that we've been at various universities.

I can be offensive, but not to people's faces that much. I have a warped sense of humour, which finds things like dead baby jokes funny, and I am quite happy being fairly chauvinistic as well, especially if I know there is a feminist around. It's all in good humour though, but I can understand if sometimes offence is taken. I am, however, fairly easily offended by racism, even though I'm white, middle class and English. It just highlights to me the generation gap. My Granddad is quite happy referring to black people as "darkies," and my mum is forever saying, when I'm watching MTV, "Oh, all this nig-nog music annoys me." I guess I, and my generation, are so used to seeing loads of different cultures people that we aren't racist, but we instead are offended when racism rears its ugly head.

When I've had a few beverages ("looseners"), I tend to get somewhat louder and more talkative than usual. Which means I spout the biggest amount of crap ever to whoever is unfortunate enough to be sitting next to me. Usually I don't even remember saying half of it, because I just say too much. That and the quantities of alcohol involved. Oh, and I get really flirty, especially with the girls that I know and love to bits.

I say that I am politically neutral (according to The Political Compass, but I know that deep down I'm a Tory supporter (I'm middle class, I've got to be), and I believe in the good of the majority over the good of the individual. Utilitarianism is the technical term. I'm very opinionated on almost everything that is happening in the world right now, and also on just about any subject ever. I enjoy debating points with others, but I'm far too stubborn to lose. I don't, however, resort to personal insults, but try to pick holes in their arguments, whilst glossing neatly over any in mine.

If anybody out there is a psychologist, what can you tell me from the above? Am I perfectly normal, or perfectly abnormal? In between would be good. Who want's to be normal?


I Believe...

From all of the tests I've done elsewhere on the Internet, I'm apparently a complete heretic (I prefer "atheist"), but fairly positive in my outlook on life. I guess this is to do with me being a non-believer. I don't believe that there is an afterlife, just eternal nothingness, which is a very pessimistic view to have. But, because of this pessimistic view on the grand scale of things, I have an optimistic take on life, because I believe that it is short and there is nothing to look forward to after death. Live life to the full, whilst you still have life. I guess my views could be taken as nihilistic (go look it up), but I agree with a lot of the principles of existentialism, in that we exist for no purpose, so therefore we have no path set for us in life, and have a completely free choice in what to do whilst we are alive.

Is science a religion? Not Scientology, but science itself. I don't believe in anything that can't be proved by scientific means, and anything that can't be explained is solely because science isn't advanced enough to explain it. Admittedly, science leaves a few questions, like if there was a Big Bang, what was there before it, but overall it explains a whole lot more than any of the world's religions. I also believe in aliens, purely on a probability basis. There's billions of stars out there, which means bilions of planets, of which millions can support life. Surely one of these life-supporting planets has had life existing for longer than we have, and therefore a more advanced dominant species? We are not alone in the universe. We are merely an insignificant planet orbiting an insignificant star on the outer fringes of an insignificant galaxy. We don't matter. (Bit of nihilism coming through there as well...)


I Love...

My family, of course, that goes without saying. But, relationships-wise for myself, there's nothing at all happening in my life on that front, and there hasn't been for over 3 years. Afraid I'm still virginal as well. 20 years old, and still a virgin. Not good. I'm not the most successful guy around women, never have been, but I can be really, really flirty and chatty with girls that I know. I guess that I'm just not interested in them in that way, which means I am comfortable around them, whereas I go to pieces around other girls that I like. That's the only area of my life in which I lack confidence, but I think that when (if) I eventually find a girlfriend, I will gain that confidence, and be able to use it more if (when) that relationship breaks up. Here's hoping.

Of course, there's a whole load of girls I find attractive, physically and personality-wise. Some of my bestest, bestest friends in the whole world are unbelievably stunning, but I just see them as my friends, rather than objects of attraction. I find myself whenever I'm on the Tube or walking down a street just constantly looking at women and checking them out. I swear I'm subtle about it, but if I'm with some friends they always catch me doing it. It's a guy thing, I guess.


I Enjoy...

What do I do with my spare time? Music is my reason for existing, I can't do anything without music on. This can be annoying for other people, especially my housemates. Musical tastes are just about the only thing we disagree on, which is pretty cool. I'm into trancey-dancey stuff (Not the cheesy chart crap, but the proper club stuff. No vocals, please), hip-hop (Fairly mainstream, but also some weirder stuff), and metal (Nu-metal, originally, now branching out into ultra-heavy death metal). I have far too many CDs, about 200, and over 1300 mp3s as well. I have such eclectic tastes that I just put my mp3s on random play, and go from the most ambient, melodic trance into extreme death metal, and then into some freestyling rap music. I doubt that there are many other people on the planet who have the same exact taste as I do, the best I find is someone liking 2 from my 3...

I go to the cinema a lot, as well as watching a lot of films on video. I tend to go to the cinema at least once each fortnight, which isn't bad. All good quality films, apart from that "Just Married"; that was crap. I must watch at least twice that many on video / DVD in a fortnight as well, including going back into the archives for the classics (Aliens, Godfather, etc). Movie trivia is one of my speciality subjects, as is music (1993-2003).

I read quite a bit, and not just the boring law textbooks which I have to read. I used to read a lot of sci-fi books, such as Star Trek spinoffs, but now I've started reading all of the "Classics." In recent months, I've bought some brilliant books, all really cheap from various publishers' classics ranges. I've also picked up some modern classics, such as Trainspotting and the Hannibal Lecter trilogy. I read a lot of magazines too, generally lad's mags such as Maxim, FHM and Front, but Private Eye is one of my favourites. I enjoy reading about the hypocrisy of politicians and the media, which is exactly what Private Eye highlights. Online, I read a few blogs everyday, and catch up with all of the day's news. I can't be bothered buying a newspaper every day, so I just do it whilst I'm online.

I tend to spend a lot of time online, because there's just always something to interest me and take my fancy. I spend a lot of time on a couple of Bulletin Boards, and also playing games. When I'm back at home I download a lot of music from Kazaa (Me, illegal? No officer, not me), and generally chat to whoever's online from my friends list, but stupid computers at uni don't have MS Messenger. Grrr. My mum think's I'm obsessed with computers, but they just really interest me. As you can see from your beautiful surroundings, I design websites, even though I'm not particularly artistic, and I like to keep up to date with the latest technology that's doing the rounds.

I would write a list of my favourite bands, films, TV shows, etc, but it would just take an absolute age. Someday, maybe. Don't hold your breath. I know the tension is killing you already...


I'll Stop...

So, this ends the most introspective thing I've ever done. I'll probably come back to this at some point and just laugh at it. I do love the anonymity of the Internet though. I can just pour my heart out onto a computer screen, safe in the knowledge that I'm probably never going to meet any readers in real life. Not that the Internet isn't a community by itself, but it's not real, people!!!

Yours, Rob


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