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Friday, November 28


Even though it's mid-afternoon, I still hate early mornings. I'm tired and I want to go home. Dammit.

I Do

I fucking hate early mornings, I do.

First Day's Achievements

So, the internet has been running on this computer for about 12 hours now, and has been on solidly. I've managed to get a few things done, such as downloading a few programs I needed (Quicktime, Kazaa Lite, WS FTP and MSN Messenger), plus I've set myself up some bookmarks.

Meanwhile, the others have been downloading (unashamedly and to be expected) porn. Surprise, surprise. I can see my computer being full of random porn by the end of the week, never mind the end of the year. Thank christ we've only got a 56k connection, not broadband, or it'd be full already. Have they nothing better to do?

One thing which did surprise me tonight: we had a Thanksgiving Dinner. Bear in mind that none of us are remotely American, and this seems a little strange. However, Marissa, Matt's long-distance girlfriend, has just arrived here for a week, so her and Matt cooked a big dinner for all of us, which I was thoroughly impressed by. I wasn't impressed, however, by the amount of washing up I had to do afterwards... I guess it saved me the effort of cooking though.

Is this the start of a downturn in my studies? It's half past twelve at night, and I've got to be up at 7.15 tomorrow, yet I'm here randomly blogging. Oh well, such is life.

PS. Check out the (finally) updated RobCam image on the right. I took it when the sun was streaming in through my window a week or so ago, and cast that shadow on the wall. Do you know how difficult it is to hold a camera facing right whilst trying to keep your head facing directly forward in order to get the shadow of your profile? No? It's very difficult. Trust me.

Thursday, November 27

Home Front

Well, I've finally got the internet set up at home now. Hurrah. Although, I did have to answer the door in just a towel this morning to let the man from BT in. Incidentally, I'd just like to take this moment to praise the employees of BT that I've had contact with in the last week. They were very, very polite and helpful, and were able to sort out all of the relevant problems that I was having, telephonically speaking. Well done BT.

It took approximately 4 hours for my housemates to abuse the internet though. It's set up on my computer, and I'm quite happy to let them loose on it, to do whatever they want online. The one rule I did lay down was that nobody was to install any programs at all on this computer without my express say-so. I told them this last night, and left a note on the keyboard when I went off to uni this morning. Cue finding on my return WinMX already installed and downloading various tunes. I was not happy. Firstly, because WinMX is shit anyway (Kazaa Lite is much better), and secondly because they directly abused my trust. I promptly uninstalled it, and a little later I'll get Kazaa Lite put on to the system.

Another thing: I'd completely forgotten just how slow a 56k connection is. I've got used to a T3 connection at uni, with pages loading instantly. Alas, no more. I've spent this afternoon going round a few of my favourite sites, caching their images into my Temporary Internet Files folder. I reckon to make things run pretty quick I'm going to need to have about 5 gigs of files in that folder. Oh well, I've got a shitload of space anyway...

Wednesday, November 26

Phone Cables And Whatnot

Why is it impossible to buy a single cable of the length you need. Dixons and Rymans both only sell modem-to-phone cables up to a length of 5m, and telephone extension cables of up to 10m. I, of course, wanted 20m. Damn youz! Do you ever find that it's always this way? You have to spend more money than you wanted because the shops don't stock exactly what you need? Grrr.

In other news, I was well pissed off with my housemates last night. Arsenal were on the telly, playing Inter Milan in the Champion's League, and it was highly probable that we were going to get beaten, which would mean that we would be out of the competition. For at least an hour beforehand, they were going on and on about it, and reminding me of all the good players in the Inter team. Which pissed me off.

Then, when Arsenal scored first, I barely celebrated the goal (OK, so I did shout a loud "Yes!!!!!"), and they looked as if they'd been shot. When Inter scored, all of them were leaping around and yelling. You'd think that it'd been announced that free money was being given out or something. They were so one-sided towards Inter, and abusive towards Arsenal and me that I was getting well annoyed.

Anyway, Arsenal scored again just after half-time, so I made a point of being as loud and offensive as possible towards all of them. I think the words "Fuck Inter and fuck you" came out of my mouth a fair few times. Then we scored again (the word "Fuck" was definitely over-used at that point), and again, and again. We were 5-1 up by this point, and I was well happy. But still I got no let-up of the abuse. When the commentator compared the result to Chelsea's 4-0 win against Lazio a few weeks ago, the two Chelsea fans started a new round of abuse. They didn't acknowledge the fact that Chelsea had won against 10 men, and that Inter's team was so packed "full of stars" as they had constantly reminded me before the game. Fucking hypocrites.

And another thing. We (me and my housemates) are planning to join a 5-a-side league at some point, and I was volunteered to go in goal. I don't overly mind going in goal, but I much prefer being out on pitch. Pete told me that I was going to be the goalkeeper, and I went to retort, but couldn't be arsed. It was one of those "But... Oh fuck it, yeah, fine whatever" comments. He then tried to explain why it should be me that is in goal (I was particularly good last time we played 5-a-side), and I just sat there being arsey with him: "Yeah, fine, OK, cool, yeah, fine." I think he was getting a bit annoyed, but by this stage I just couldn't care less. Fuck it, I couldn't be arsed to argue, because I was just going to get shouted down anyway, and it wasn't worth the hassle. Fuck it.

Tuesday, November 25


Somehow I managed to get out of bed at 9am for the rugby on Saturday. I have absolutely no idea how, especially since I'd only had about 2 hours sleep, and had a raging hangover. I fucking hate hangovers.

What a game!!! I was on the edge of my seat from half-time onwards, and was being mercilessly mocked by at least one of my housemates for being so. I'm the rugby fan of the house, and the others aren't huge fans, and don't have an appreciation of the game in the way I do. I sound really arrogant, don't I?

Anyway, I needed (note, needed) to go back to bed after, and a good decison was taken. I was chirpy for the rest of the day, and once again my computer took a bashing from the 7-man game of Champ4 we had going on it. Likewise on Sunday, and I even failed to get any work done that I wanted to. I'm very easily distracted.

Monday was slightly more successful, but in a non-academic way. I missed / skipped my German Law tutorial (2 weeks running now), and tried very hard to write a criminology essay. I failed on that count too. I did, however, get loads of stuff done concerning the house. I got a load of money from our landlord for work that we had done to the house, and I spent 20+ minutes on the phone to BT, getting a phone line set up for the house. Which means we can now get the internet at home. Hurrah!!!

Unfortunately this means that my room is going to be the most used room in the house, since I'm the only one with a computer. I also need to set up some ground rules for using it (No viruses (vira? viri?), no installing programs, no using it whilst I', in bed, etc). I've spent a lot of time getting my computer how I want it, and keeping it virus-free, so I definitely don't want it getting fucked up by everybody else.

Basically, this means that my posting is no longer going to be in short, 30-minute bursts. No more shall I be confined to posting whilst I'm in the library, avoiding doing work. From now on there shall be random, ultra-short (possibly meaningful, probably not) posts at all times of the day and night. There shall also be the triumphant return of drunken posts!!! I might also get a blog going for the household as well. Maybe, we shall see.

Bo, selecta!

Go check out the new and improved RAGE.

Friday Night

Damn, Friday night was a weird one. I'd already been in classes since 9am, and just as I was finishing my last one at 6pm, I got a text telling me to come to the Waterfront after. The Waterfront is the name of the student union bar at my uni.

I popped up there to meet my housemates, and had a few beers. We decided to go to Phase, the name of the Friday night 'spectacular' at the student union club, Tutu's. Earlier last week, we had decided not to go to Phase in honour of my birthday, because of the ridiculously early kick-off of the Rugby World Cup final on Saturday morning. Nevertheless, we decided to go.

While we were still in the Waterfront, I had a sambuca bought for me (lush!), as well as a triple Aftershock. Aftershock is alright to drink, but only in singles. The three different flavours mixed together are hard going. Eventually (a little the worse for wear) we made it up to Phase, and the merriment continued.

Up to a point, at any rate.

I had my usual depressive period during the night, right at the time when the three housemates I was there with had all got themselves a lady friend for the evening. I was feeling particularly sorry for myself. Again.

It picked up again by the end of the night, except for the minor scuffle that threw itself onto the floor in front of us while we were all singing 'Vindaloo.' Don't ask.

We wandered down the Strand to the McDonalds (don't worry, I didn't buy anything), and almost got involved with this fight that was kicking off. The police turned up, so we didn't bother. Matt did manage to grab a very, very nice Christian Dior overcoat though. It must be worth 250+, and has since become the house coat. We are bad men.

When we got home, I figured texting my friend Laura would be a good idea. She's my friend from back home who also lives in London, and I love her to bits. She's also the only girl I've ever turned down after coming on to me. Come to think of it, she's the only girl that's ever come on to me. :( Anyway, I think I can quote the message I sent her verbatim:
Hey babe, just wondering if you can tell me why I am so inept / incompetent / unconfident / uncomfortable around women? xxx

I think I've sent her a similar message at least twice before, so I imagine she's getting very sick of it by now. To her credit, her reply (at 8.30am, not 5am!) was very, very understanding and lovely. Be confident, she says. Christ, not a chance of that, I'm afraid. As I said, I'm very unconfident around women. I think I'm just waiting for someone to fall into my lap, possibly literally. Dammit.

First Things First

The following is from an email I received on Friday from my lovely friend Sophie. It's very funny. No, really.
Agony Uncle

Q. My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A. Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing: your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him it totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q. My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A. This is perfectly natural behaviour and should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess amongst other men. A night out chasing young girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (It's a great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself whilst doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time-consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q. My husband always has an orgasm, then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

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