Saturday, May 1
I'm going to invoke the wrath of my female readers (if I have any) in the following post. The male readers will no doubt appreciate it, and hopefully agree too. Hell, I have to listen to my masculine side sometimes, if I'm to prove to certain readers that I am in fact not gay. I don't thinkI'm overtly trying to prove my heterosexuality, this post just happens to be something I was thinking about the other day.So, without further ado, I present my thoughts on the two concurrent subjects of warm weather and female fashion.
Do you know why I love summer? Because women wear less clothes and show more flesh. Hurrah!!! Ooh, can you feel the blood boiling in the feminists? It's your own stupid fault, stop wearing less, and tell the rest of the sisterhood the same. Leave me to ogle!
So yeah, summertime. I was down in Central London on Monday, meeting a mate of mine from back home in Melksham and wandering around Oxford Street and Covent Garden. It was one of the hottest days of the year, and the sun was blazing.
The fit women were out in force. Myself and Wes had eyeballs out on stalks as we walked fairly aimlessly around. What is it about the sun that makes the more attractive women in today's society suddenly decide to show some leg and a bit of cleavage?
Not that I'm complaining, of course. I am one of the biggest advocates and supporters of the return of the mini-skirt to fashion, so long as the wearer has a good set of legs.
Oh, and the shorter the better. Did anyone see Hollyoaks earlier this week, when Debbie went on a date with Darren? I have to admit that Debbie is my favourite of the female cast, she is so unbelievably attractive. Anyway, in this particular episode, she had THE shortest skirt imaginable on. Honestly, it must have barely cover her (delightful) ass. Beautiful. But yeah, catch it again in the omnibus on Sunday morning.
Come to think of it, when was the last time I made it out of bed on a Sunday morning? But I digress.
I'll just pause here to mention that I'm not writing this on a computer at the moment. I'm sat in my living room, watching the Dave Spikey DVD, and writing on a pad with a pen. Yes, I'm going old-school.
I mention this because Alex has just got back from a night out, very wasted and a little pilled up, and has brought back this girl from King's, who I think I've met before. I was in all probability quite, quite drunk though. I usually am when I meet friends of friends.
Anyway, this girl, I don't know her name, is thankfully a slave to current fashion trends. She also has nice legs. Hurrah! Pretty too. Well done Alex, is all I can say.
Wow, blogging in real time, how contemporary and cool am I? Friday nights ay? What a celebrity lifestyle I live, partying 24/7 and barely pausing to sleep or draw breath.
Or, I could be sat on my ass, watching pretty crap Friday night TV with Pete. At least Bo Selecta! was on, and my favourite episode: the one where Avid interviews Meatloaf in song at the end. Fucking hilarious.
But I digress once more. Where was I? Ahh yes, the sun and the female flesh on display.
I have to admit that I, as they say, am a breast man. Which is why the summer is so great. Even just hints of cleavage are a good thing. Power to those (good-looking) women who choose to flaunt their femininity through, erm, wearing less. Power be indeed.
Am I coming across as particularly chauvinistic? I hope so. It's been a while since I've cut loose like this, bothering to express my thoughts on this subject. This is weird, because it's not as if it is ever that far from my mind. I guess I just don't think about it when I'm sat in front of my computer, writing random shit about myself.
I'm surprised it's taken this long to get around to writing this piece, I really am. I'm a guy, I do think if sex pretty much all the time, even if seemingly gets me nowhere pretty much all the time.
I think I've exhausted the subject and my thoughts on it for now, so I'll stop. I've managed to fill 2 pages of A4 with these ramblings, which should be more than sufficient for me, and for you.
Also, we've just put League of Gentlemen Series 1 on, even though it's nearly 3am. Sleep? Pah! Revision? Pah! Passing Exams? Pah! Women? Please...
