Wednesday, January 28
Jubilee Line Southbound
I have this strange feeling of apprehension about posting at the moment, and I know exactly why. Yesterday I gave a friend of mine the URL for this blog. I'm not 100% sure why, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, I'm a little bit worries about what I post here, since there is someone that I speak to on almost daily basis who might be reading it. I'm more than a little concerned that I won't post anything particularly revelaing here, because I will meet this person in the "real" world and she might ask about them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up on the insightful / revealing material, but I'm just worried that it might provoke an unsavoury reaction.
But to you, unnamed new reader (you know who you are), take everything you read here at face value. I never lie in what I post here, and I don't twist the truth. This for me is a kind of release, a cry of expression or an indulgence which I happen to enjoy.
I do not care who reads my life, and what they think of it / me. I write here because I choose to write, because I choose to tell my story, because I want a record of these tempestuous times in my life. Why is it public? Why do I not choose to keep an ordinary diary?
Perhaps my ego wants me to publicise myself, and to put myself onto the stage and perform for my audience. Perhaps my expressionate side needs reciprocal feelings of being acknowledged. I don't have a fucking clue what it is, but I will continue to feed it as I post here, expressing my life, my feelings and my self.
PS. Empty Tubes are great. Time to think.