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Saturday, June 21

Any Requests?

To counter anybody who says I don't listen to my readers (not that I expect any of you all to be so rude...), I've decided to make a fairly long post about the opposite sex. In this case, women. Before I start, however, I have a couple of things to point out:

Firstly, I've finally put up a Music Page. Spengy, enjoy. And everybody else too. A books-type page is coming soon as well. And I might even get round to starting the fabled photo-blog, or update the Art page. Too busy at the moment.

Secondly, has anybody else noticed that something subconscious in the human brain causes every single person to put on a silly voice when they are talking to a pet? I've cottoned on to this since I've been back at home. My little doggie had to have an operation on Tuesday, and he's been moping about since. My mum, my sister and even myself all talk to him in stupid voices, making a fuss of him. Why do we do this? Is it because we think they're of a lower intelligence than us, so we act retarded? Look out for this over the next few days, everybody does it!

Enough of that, on with the subject of the day: Women. I know that my readers are pretty much evenly split male - female, so perhaps the guys will understand some of this better than the ladies will. However, ladies, my words of wisdom (ahem!) could prove useful in your future conquests. Alanna, as an aside, do you prefer butch girls or pretty girls?

Hmmm, where to start? I suppose I should begin by stating that I might not be the best person to discuss this subject, what with the whole being a self-confessed virgin and all. Oh yeah, and only ever got off with a single-figure amount of girls too. Man, I suck at pulling. Anyway, this is my place to say what i want to say, so here goes.

There's a few things that I have noticed about women in general. On one hand, they can be very bitchy towards anybody that isn't their friend. On the other hand, they can be your best friend if they allow you to be their friend. I've got a load of female friends who I am really close too, and tell everything to (well, almost everything), but I can never envisage myself trying it on with them, just in case it went sour and destroyed the friendship .That's the problem I seem to have with women generally. The ones I like, perhaps even fall in love with, are those who are my closest friends. I value friends above anything in the world, even more than having a serious relationship, so I cannot ever bring myself to risk their friendship. At this point in my life, I would prefer to have a number of close friends than one intimate girlfriend. Between them, my friends know pretty much everything there is to know about me, and seeing as we're all in the same circle of friends, they each probably know everything. My life is an open book, so to speak.

Having said that the girls who I really like are those who are my closest friends, with whom I would never try anything on, I guess that leaves me to find a girlfriend amongst the public at large. Dammit, that's never going to happen. I have the lowest self-confidence ever when it comes to women, probably scared of rejection. This is fairly strange, because I'm a generally confident guy. I imagine this is tied in with the lack of success that I've had so far. One serious grilfriend, or one night where I pull could change things around entirely. Here's hoping. Hope, because I'm too lazy to attempt to remedy the situation myself.

When I go out for a night out to a bar or wherever, I'm not at all interested in pulling. I used to be completely obsessed with pulling if I was out in a bar, but so often I'd go home disappointed, blinded to the fact that I'd had a wicked night out, purely because I didn't pull. Nowadays, I go out to have a good time with my friends, and if I pull, so be it. I don't even bother going up to random girls and asking for a dance. What's the point? That fear of rejection again, possibly. I'm quite happy dancing with the female friends I actually go on the night out with, probaly ruining their night in fact, because they can't pull due to me dancing with them. I reckon I might try not dancing at all from now on, so everyone is happy. Which is a shame, because I quite like dancing, and I think I'm quite good at it. Counter-arguments willingly accepted. Matt, you've seen me dance, I think...

What else is there to say? Oh yeah, ladies, if someone comes up to you in a bar and asks you to dance, try to say no in a nice way. Groups of women can be fatal to the aspirations of a guy... They all sort of leer at you, and force the lady in question to knock you back. Grrrr, make up your own minds.

I'd love to have the confidence to go up to a random girl in the street and ask for her number, but I've never ever had the confidence to do it. I wasnt a scene like in a film, where everything just happens, without any falsehood or overt effort. I'm thinking the scene in American Beauty where the weird kid is showing the girl the film of the plastic bag, and is saying how there's so much beauty in the world. She takes hold of his hand, their eyes meet, and you can just see the emotion. I want that emotion! I want that scene! I want something like that to happen to me!

As a slight offshoot of that, at least it shows that a girl can make the first move, however minor. I'm all for most of the chivalrous stuff, such as buying drinks, opening doors, offering a seat and all of that stuff, but sometimes it's just nice not to have to risk everything. There's been a huge push for equality generally, so why is it still women who have the power in the opening stages of a relationship? They decide whether or not to start something, whether to go out for a second date or not, how quickly things should progress and everything like that. It's just not right.

I think I should draw this to a close, it has turned out to be an epic post, and very introspective. I hope it makes enjoyable reading, and doesn't sound like just some random rantings and outpourings from me. Who knows, I might see somebody on the street tomorrow...


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