Thursday, February 26
Why does one of my archive pages come up 4th (4th!) on Google when you search for "'being in love' 'being unhappy'"? What is Google trying to say about me? I'm not in love.
Also, a quick very very sick joke that I read today:
Q. What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?
A. An erection.
Sorry, but that's just plain funny.
Wednesday, February 25
I'm so very scared.
I want to write about someone, but I'm pretty sure that she now reads this blog. Why did I give her the address? I don't know, I really don't.
I want to write reams and reams about her, and about me, and about whether there could possibly be anything happening between us. I'm scared, however, of her reading it here before I manage to say anything to her in the real world. I'm such a fuck-up. Why can't I ever manage to say something at all worthwhile or meaningful in the real world to her? I piss myself off all the time in those situations.
I want to write about her, but I really don't want her to think that I'm fucked up or weird or obsessional or shit like that. I like her, that's all. Is that so bad, or something to be ashamed of? And yet I find it so hard to say that to her.
And now she has told me that she has just broken up with her boyfriend. Do I leave it, let her cool off or what? Do I go straight there and offer a shoulder to lean on? Fuck it, I'm such a fuck-up at the moment. I even managed to miss her call on Saturday night at 3am, wanting to come to the house party we had here. Fuck's sake. I know I was drunk, but even then I usually manage to answer my phone.
But then, what would I have said to her once she arrived? I was very drunk, and blatantly would have embarrassed myself in some fucked-up way. I do that a lot when drunk. My mouth runs away with me, and I become a blabbering idiot. Especially around women that I like. Especially.
Do I reckon that she's going to read this before I see her tomorrow? Meh, no idea. She might do, she might not. I'll tell by the look on her face as soon as she enters the room.
I'm not weird, I promise. Just a little bit, erm, obscure. I don't know, ring me or something. I'm too shy / fucked-up to pluck up the courage to ring you.
Man, I'm Bored
(Scribbled on my pad whilst I was in a class this morning.)
I'm sitting here in a Criminology tutorial and I'm so very, very bored. My tutor's voice is starting to drone, although she is quite good-looking, so I'll forgive her. She must have found a rich bachelor, because she sports a huge ring on the left ring finger. She has also told us previously that her wedding dress is currently being made for her in Madrid. Yes, that's Madrid in Spain. Are there no suitable outfitters in London?! Some people!
I'm well tired too. We kind of sat around and watched all 6 episodes of the third series of The Leage Of Gentlemen last night. Far too addictive, and therefore barely any sleep.
Well, when I say "barely" I mean less than 6 hours. I know that many people can cope with that much, but not me. Give me 10 or 11 hours per night, and I'll be just fine. It could have been more, but as I was about to go to bed, I noticed that 2 of the Buffy episodes I'm downloading at the moment (yes, bad person, I get it) were almost finished. So, I waited for another half hour or so to let them finish. It's always quicker and more reliable at night because the Americans are awake and online. They do have their uses. Just not ruling and policing the world.
Speaking of Buffy, I noticed on AmazonUK that Series 1-6 are being re-released at the start of April for a much lower price than currently. They're areound ?26.99 per series, compared to the current price of ?60+. I want them. I want them all. My new obsession is Buffy.
What was my last obsession? I don't think I've got particularly obsessed about anything since Matrix Revolutions was released. I got pretty excited about the final LOTR film release, and a couple of weeks ago I ripped some DVDs and got pretty involved with that. But nothing that could quite be called obsessional. I'm waiting for something to leap out at me.
Maybe that girl Siobhan. But I think that's just lust, not quite an obsession. She's purdy.
Monday, February 23
Inspired by (read "copied from") a post at Paranoid.Android, I put my mp3s on a random cycle, as I always do, and here are the first 10:
- Biohazard - Breakdown (metal)
- Atari Teenage Riot - Destroy 2000 Years Of Culture (metal / punk / drum'n'bass / noise)
- Dr Dre - Ain't Nothing But A G-Thang (hip hop)
- 50 Cent Ft. Eminem - In Da Club Remix (hip hop)
- Dimmu Borgir - Tormentor Of Christian Souls (death metal)
- Haste - Dredge This Wound (metal / noise)
- Veracocha - Drafting (trance)
- Otep - Filthee (nu-metal / noise)
- One Giant Leap - My Culture (dance / chillout)
- Disturbed - Remember (nu-metal)
As you can see, I have the most eclectic and weird music tastes ever. Since these 10 came on, they have been followed by such random bands as Theatre Of Tragedy (German doom metal), BBE (classic late 90s trance), Slayer (needs no comment), and Signum (more random trancey stuff). I love my musical tastes!!!
Goddamn did I get drunk at our party on Saturday!!! Oh so drunk. And so very hungover on Sunday. Soooooooooo hungover.
I guess things have kinda got sorted between me and my housemates, because we are actually talking again. Which is a hell of a lot more than was happening on Thursday night and Friday during the day. A HELL of a lot more.
Anyway, the party.
It was in aid of Alex's 21st birthday, celebrated a little earlier in the week. We clubbed together and got him this really cool book called "Earth From The Air", which is a coffee-table book full of huge glossy photos of random things across the planet. It looks amazing and some of the pictures are just awe-inspiringly beautiful. I want it.
Me and Pete decided that White Russians were going to be the way to go forward during the party. The drinks, not just some small Russian women. Therefore, we planned ahead and bought some Kahlua, vodka and loads of milk at Sainsbury's during the day, and hid it all before the party started. I also grabbed 4 (4!!!) large, 70cl, bottles of Red Square, just to warm me up before the White Russians.
We did a quick spring-clean of the house (well, when I say "we", I mean "everyone except Matt, who is a BAD PERSON"), and then waited for everyone to arrive. Actually, we put some balloons up, and put this random "The Party's Here!!!" sign on the front door. We like tacky stuff when we throw parties. A bit like the floors the morning after, very tacky.
I was a little disappointed that barely of my friends made it to the party, even though I know most of my housemates' friends that came along. I always seem to get texts the next day saying "Sorry I wasn't there Rob, something came up". Damn them, damn them all to Hell.
I did, however, succeed in getting very, very drunk. I remember chatting to so many random people about so many random things. And those are just the bits I remember. It gets hazier as the night got later and became morning again. I must have been drunk.
Things I do remember:
- Writing "Hope lies in the Proles" on someone's jeans because it was the first thing I could think off from a book. He did ask me to write something, I didn't just grab a pen and start randomly writing. Honest!
- Pete drinking from a teapot, because we ran out of glasses.
- Pints and pints of White Russians. Strong White Russians at that.
- Having all of my choices on the stereo booed off pretty quickly.
- Watching Joe being covered with shaving foam by a girl who he had managed to spray earlier. Hey, he fell asleep in the living room, so he deserved it.
- Answering the front door to some random guy who had rocked up at 3am, and being handed a huge chunk of chocolate cake. It was so tasty.
- Alice being all shy and coy with me as I said goodbye to her and Daz at some random point in the night. I think she might like me.
- More pints of White Russians.
- Still drinking alcoholic beverages at 6.30am, as the sun was rising. I'd started at 8pm the previous evening. I thus rule.
- And that's about it.
I think I may also have fallen in lust with this girl called Siobhan. She's a sort of friend of Alex, because they met on her first day at uni last September. In recent weeks she's been round our house quite often, we think because she fancies Alex. Unfortunately for her, Alex has a girlfriend (the lovely Hayley), and I'm not sure if she knows or not. However, I think she's cool. She's good-looking, quite tall and a good laugh. Plus, she loves films and seems to go to the cinema about 10 times per week. Like I said, I've fallen in lust, but no doubt I will fail to do anything about it. Yay me.
The party eventually drew to a close just after 7 in the morning, and I crashed into my bed, only to wake up again at 1 in the afternoon. I don't think I was still drunk, but I was fucking knackered and very hungover. So, what did we all choose to do? We went to a pub for some lunch!!! We rule. A huge greasy burger and a pint of beer was just what I needed. Um, yeah, right.
Oh, and I almost forgot. Some absolute FUCKING CUNT stole ?50 from my wallet at the party. They left me with ?30 in there, but took ?50. The fucking cunt!!! The only plus is that it wasn't my money per se, it was the household's money which I was supposed to pay in today. Fucker. My faith in humanity has been utterly destroyed. Completely and utterly. Fucker.
Another fucker: Matt, the BAD PERSON from earlier. Without doubt the slobbiest, laziest and all-round bastard of a person that I have ever met. He was hanging yesterday, just like all of us, but didn't even lift a finger to help us clean the house up. I mopped the entire house from top to bottom (it was horribly sticky everywhere), but we had to repeatedly tell Matt to do this tiny bit of washing-up (my favourite bugbear, once again) that was left for him to do. I swear it took over 2 hours of cajoling and complaining at him to get it done. Unbelievably lazy!!! Alex came up with something profound about Matt today: "I feel sorry for his Mum at home, but at the same time I think she did a bad job of raising him." So, so true.
And what else? I was exhausted by the time I went to bed last night, and wasn't feeling much better this morning, when I had to get up to go to uni for the first time in 10 days. Stupid arsing timetablers. I hate them. Why couldn't I have all afternoon classes?
I took quite a few photos on Saturday night, and I will get them posted either today or tomorrow. There's so many random ones, because it was about 3am before I remembered to take some pictures, by which time I was very, very drunk. Perhaps even disgracefully so. Meh. I rule.