Monday, September 8
Guilt-Tripping Retrospectively
Man, it's been so long since I last posted here that I can't even remember the last thing I wrote about. Let's see. Ahh yes, late Tuesday evening. Christ, nearly a week since I last bothered to write anything here. No wonder my hits have been dying like, well, dead things.
What has happened since Tuesday? I haven't bothered working at all, didn't fancy it, so I just didn't go. Hurrah for agency work, that's its only positive aspect. I did a load of cleaning and all that sort of shit until Saturday, when my parents came back from holiday. Turns out it was worth it, because they were very, very happy to see a "spotless" house upon their return. I'll make a great husband one day. One day...
I took my dog up to the White Horse at Westbury on Thursday (or was it Friday? No, it was definitely Thursday, because I wasn't hungover). The White Horse isn't a pub, it's a big local landmark. Basically, it's a centuries-old carving of a horse on the side of a big hill. The hill was chalk, as is most of the land round here, hence the horse being white... It's a great place to walk a dog, because the top of the hill is really big and flat (I think it was a stone-age camp or something), and you can see for miles. I bothered to take my camera this time, and took a few cool photos. I would post one here, but my sister is on my computer, so I can't get onto it and put the photo on a disk. Grrrr.
Thursday night I went out drinking, meeting a few people I hadn't seen for a little while (she was in Africa, I wasn't...), as well as getting fairly smashed. Result. And all for the low, low price of £1 for a double vodka. I know I keep going on about that, but it is sooo good. Cheap alcohol, what more could you want in life. To quote Homer, "To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." If memory serves, which it does in patches, I managed to remain unscathed on Thursday night, which makes a change for recent nights out.
I was hanging on Friday, so I just sat around and watched sport pretty much the whole day. I went to go see American Pie 3 in the evening with a few mates, which was a decent way to end the week. I thought it wasn't as good as the first film, but about the same as the second. The best joke was the "What's the capital of Thailand?" "Bangkok!" ,followed by a swift fist to the testicular region. Unfortunately, everybody who I saw it with, and our other mates who had already seen it, kept doing it all night on Saturday, so we were very wary of talking to each other by the end of that night.
I made a list on Friday night before I went to bed of all the things I had to do on Saturday before my parents got back. Out of about 8 things to do, I managed 6, which isn't bad, considering I also managed to watch a fair bit of the cricket and the Scotland - Faroes football during the day. Saturday night was cool though. A mate of mine, Dan, invited the rest of the guys to a party in a field in this village near where I live. Apparently his uncle owns the field as part of his farm, and it was a bit of a family get-together. They managed to get a generator and a TV there so we could watch the second half of the England game (victorious) as well as the Italy-Wales game. There was a barbecue, a bonfire and fireworks too, as well as a shedload of beer. Everybody took loads of beer up there, and there was already a fair bit, so we kept getting told to drink more by Dan's parents and extended family. Don't mind if I do.
A good drinking game, by the way: If a group of you are watching a sports match of any kind (it works best with football, but also rugby and probably american football), each of you pick a player before kick-off. Then, every time that player's name is mentioned by the commentators, you have to drink 2 fingers-worth of your drink. If he scores a goal (try / touchdown), you have to down the whole of your drink, and if he gets booked (sin-binned / gives away a penalty), you drink 5 fingers. It can get very messy, very quickly, especially if (as in this case) your player scores 3 goals. That's what happened to Jy, although he did win the sweepstake we had going on first goalscorer as well, so he was drunk and had an extra £10 in his pocket. Git!
After the festivities of the field, we went back into town and ended up in Buds (again). More drinking, including a 10-minute period propping up the shots bar (*shudder*), meant we were well on our way by the time we left. I almost managed to stay out of trouble, but then this random guy shouted at me "hey, there's the FA Cup that Man Utd won," a reference to my over-sized ears. Being an Arsenal fan, I couldn't let this slip, so I shouted back from over the road "I could have sworn that it was Arsenal who won it this season..." He promptly came over and was all "What did you say?" so I told him again. He slapped me round the face and buggered off. Come on, a slap for fuck's sake?!? Stupid prick. Got home without further incident, and rolled into bed around 3am.
By the time I got up, my parents were already out at the supermarket, mainly because I'd eaten ALL of the food in the house, since I was too lazy to go to the supermarket to get some more... They came back and were pleased to see me, and pleased about the state of the house. It seems I done good... I was regaled with stories of the holiday, and went to play football in the evening, my one concession to keeping fit. I blatantly didn't stretch beforehand, because my legs are well stiff today.
And that was my week. This Saturday I'm off back to uni, and I'm looking forward to that. Swapping one drinking group of mates for another, Hurrah!
